How to keep a Magickal diary.

Introduction

I wrote this article for my A.’.A.’. students to help them to get a better grasp on how to keep a diary. In Thelema the magickal diary holds a very special place, in fact you could say it is the heart of the system and therefor it also holds the heart of the student. A Magickal diary keeps track of habits, it keeps track of all the magickal activities and it is also a place to write down thoughts or observations.

unbloomed white flower bud placed on opened book
A diary in the form of a booklet

 

The Magickal Diary

A diary is so much more than keeping a log where you write in dates and your practice. A diary is the heart and soul of your work. It is one of the most important magickal tools you can own as a student on the path. The value of a magickal diary lies in the fact that it becomes your magickal memory over time. If you want understand your mind you have to dig deep. We all have hidden obstacles and when they come to the surface we as students on the path have to be ready.

Old Habits

Most of us will come across old habits, the saying ‘old habits die hard’, well this one is very true! As we progress on the path the ‘bad’ habits can become subtler and not always easy to spot. This is where the diary comes in. I, myself have two diaries, my digital day to day one, and a blanc book that I take with me on my travels, because there are times that I just not want to take my laptop with me but be off the grid and get more in touch with nature and my magickal work. Last summer, when I was on a holiday, I brought my travel dairy with me and started to read in it. I came across a dream, that I forgot I had, reading it again in my diary brought a couple of personal things in to a broader perspective and that was very helpful for me.

white concrete structure
Old habits die hard!

Aleister Crowley’s novel Diary of a drug fiend had a huge impact on me when I read it many years ago. It is excellent example not only on the theory behind the Magickal diary but also for how to guide fellow students on the AA path.

 

 

Methods of science

The methods of our order are those of science and the aims are those of religion. ‘Every man and every woman is a star’, as it is stated in the Book of the Law. If we want to find our own ‘Star’ and what it means to us on our magickal journey, the magickal diary is the key element.

Content of your diary

Here are some suggestions of things that you can write down in your magickal diary.

  • Date and year
  • The weather
  • The moon cycle (full moon, new moon etc.)
  • Dreams
  • Practice
  • Books you read or reading
  • Special events
  • Emotional wellbeing
  • Thoughts you have about things in life

I will explain a few of these suggestions, to give you a better understanding.

Dreams

For dreams you can also have a small blanc book next to your bed with a flashlight and pencil. Sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night out of a dream, this makes it very easy to write down and go back to sleep.

Practice

Write down how long you meditated for example. I have really see my own progress grow over time. More than twenties years ago I started with three minutes meditations in the Dragon position. And that felt like three hours to me. Now, twenties years later, I rather sit in the tailor’s pose for about twenty minutes till one hour a day. My mind is at ease during my meditations. If I look into diaries I can really see so much change over the years. That to me is the benefit of that magickal diary.

abstract art awareness branches
To be able to see our own ripples

So, make a list in your magickal diary of all the practices you do in the morning or evening and write down what you felt or experienced. What to do when you experience nothing? Well, write that down, we all go to ‘dry’ periods from time to time. Same goes for not doing any practical work, write it down in your magickal diary. It can help you to understand your won patterns. What I discovered for example in all those years is that my menstrual cycle can be a hiccup, when I found that out, I changed some of my practices so instead to see it as an obstacle, I made it beneficial for my magickal progress.

Books or movies

It can be a good idea to write down what books you are studying and your thoughts about what you have read, what inspired you for example. Or movies that inspired you. Movies can have a huge effect on you. I remember when I fist saw the Matrix, it was mind blowing. But also the documentary: Wild wild country, about Osho. So can books have an effect as well. A sentence or a chapter can give you insight, or it gives words to something you feel or think. I had it with the word ‘imaginazione’. After reading about it I had a deep and intense talk with my husband about it and he wrote an article on his blog about it. You can find his article it here: Words and phrases

Special events

This can mean many things, a magickal retreat, a special ritual like an Equinox.  Write about these as detailed as possible. Or even an experiment you did with herbs.

Emotional wellbeing

Write about your emotions, when you are moved by something or angry, write down what happened, the deeper you go the better you will understand what is going on in your mind and soul. This is something we tend to forget but it is very interesting to see what trigger us on a day to day basis.

full frame shot of text on wood
All kinds of emotions

It can also help you when you do meditations, like mindfulness. Does it really help you to feel more present and in the moment. Getting less involved in all kinds of stimulations.

Conclusion

I hope this document gives you some inspiration on how to keep a Magickal Diary. It is a lot of work I am fully aware of that. You write your magickal diary for yourself but it will not only benefit you but also your tutor who reads your magickal diary from time to time and gives you feedback on the work you do. Your future students benefit from your labor of love as well. The goal is to understand the ‘True Will’, aiming and direct it towards the ‘Knowledge and Conversation’ with your ‘Holy Guardian Angel,’ your writings will never be in vane keep that in mind when you are stuck in your work. Go back, read, and act!

 

 

 

Observations of the Zelator Grade

Introduction

This piece is about my own observations of the Zelator Grade. The Zelator’s statement in Libber 185 reads: He (she) may at any moment withdraw from his (her) association with the A .’.A.’. simply notifying the Practicus who introduced him (her). Yet let him (her) remember that being entered thus far on the Path, he (she) cannot escape it….

The first big step

You could say that the grade of the Zelator is the first big step into the Order of the A .’.A.’., the student enters into the second order. This is where the real work begins. Everything that the Zelator has learned in the other grades are the basics that are getting deepen in this second state. The work you need to do as a Zelator is very clear and to the point for example Pranayama and Asana but also recovering past live memories. Liber Thisharb for example, even though it is an instruction for a higher grade, is something a Zelator can get inspiration from to find a way to uncover past live memories. Of course there are also other methods a Zelator can use to her/his own advantage.

autumn calm creepy dried leaves
The road of past memories

Past live memories are indeed interesting to observe. It can give the Zelator a very clear idea about her/his own hiccups. One of the things I found out for myself was that teaching/guiding others on the path became important. What I discovered during a ritual to uncover past live memories was that, I made a promise to teach/guide others on the path but in that live I never got the chance to for fill that important task. It came back to me in this life again and again. At first, I hesitated by the idea to go back into past live memories to get a better understanding about myself and why I love teaching/guiding others so much, because you never know what can of worms you open, but when I did a ritual to uncover past live memories it became clear why I love to teach/guide others so much. It left me in some kind of ‘shock’ for days and it took me many years to find the right path and the right way to accomplish this task. From this day on it is something that means a lot to me. I am glad I opened that ‘can of worms‘ so to speak even though it was very scary.

For me this grade is about the Magickal and Spiritual foundation to be able to travel to Tiphareth and do my Abramelin work and accomplish the knowledge and conversation of the HGA.

On the tree of life

The Zelator is attributed to Yesod. The sphere of the Moon. Moon energy can be very tricky, it is sexual, deceiving but also reflective and can be delusional at times.

An amazing tree
The tree of life

What I do love about this Grade is the fact the two paths that intersect with this sphere are 31 and 30, Shin and Resh both lead up to Hod, the next step so to speak, in other words the hidden divine fire breath. Even though this isn’t an easy one, coming from Malkuth, in my view a very heavy earth energy, working is Yesod literally gave me a breath of fresh air. This grade gives me so much more inspiration, balance, I feel the connection with the order and the great white brotherhood so much stronger. It is like I am seeing things from a new and fresh perspective.

I also read in Magick book 4 and I quote: The spirits of the Gods, which broods upon the Formless Void in the Beginning, being by shape a triple tongue of flame, and by meaning a tooth, wich is the only part of the secret and solid foundation of Man that is manifested normally. Teeth serve him to fight, to crush, to cut, to rend….Teeth are displayed when our Secret Self, our subconscious Ego, whose Magical image is our individually expressed in mental and bodily form- our HGA- comes forth and declares our True Will to our fellows, whether to snarl or to sneer, to smile or to laugh. It gave me literally gave me goose pimples. I read this part of the book many, many moons ago but now it gave me a wake-up-moment. Working with Shin, the tooth, to unveil myself and get rid of all the Karma or at least as much as possible to complete the work is no idle idea. It means to develop a form of rigor to be able to yield the ‘dagger’ and later on the sword.

 

Conclusion

The path Zelator goes from Yeshod to Hod and then Netzach and finally Tiphareth and the Zelator can use the sacred fire breath to help her/him to complete the tasks of the second order. The danger however of this grade, at least in my opinion, can be that a Zelator becomes moon sick and goes from Yesod to Tipareth through the path of Samekh and declares her/himself an Adeptus Minor. Yesod is the lesser part of Binah, the great sea and even though a Zelator can hear the call of the Sea, it is still better to go through all the steps and then unite yourself with your HGA.